"The pen is mightier than the sword."
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
- Edward Bulwer-Lytton
My father always used to say this as he was joking, "It was a dark and stormy night" and we would all laugh with him. Did you know this was actually the topic sentence for a novel written by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1830? I didn't. This author was widely known in his day. This famous sentence is the inspiration for an actual award for authors and the winners are posted annually. I am taking a writing course and we were recently assigned the challenge of writing the worst opening sentence we could think of, the thesis being that one has to know how to write badly in order to break the rules. What fun. I enthusiastically composed my sentence with cliche, vile punning, and outworn metaphor in mind.
"I wavered in a squirming state of nausea at the hospital entrance under a naked street lamp, the wafting smell of his cigar bringing to mind that abortion really brings the kid out of you."
I was rewarded for my effort with praise by my teacher who is a published novelist. "Maryanna, this is brilliant," he wrote. I was excited. It was very encouraging. There is something fulfilling about doing the worst possible composition. Not sure how my class mates will vote. The winner of this award for one of the grand prizes wrote this lovely sentence which is widely published.
"She resolved to end her love affair with Ramon tonight.... summarily, like Martha Stewart ripping the sand vein out of a shrimp's tail... though the term love affair now struck her as a ridiculous euphemism... not unlike 'sand vein' which is after all an intestine, not a vein... and that tarry substance inside isn't sand... and that brought her back to Ramon."
-Dave Zobel BLFC Grand Prize 2004
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| Arno Rafael Minkinnen |