Bummer Of A Plumber

By Maryanna Gabriel




Snow is everywhere and along with it, the quiet. Nobody is daring to move. There is a sense of relaxation that comes with letting go of having "to do" things.

Housekeeping is out because the kitchen sink is plugged. As it began to snow, I called in a plumber as I could see the pipe beneath had buckled. Water was everywhere. He replaced the pipe, making three trips to stores because he lacked parts (huh?), disappeared for an hour and a half (breakfast out?), and returned with a bill for $449 for roughly two hours work. 

"But the sink isn't draining," I said. He shrugged.

"I've left you this bottle of Drain Max Gel," he said. "I probably won't be able to get here tomorrow. Are you healthy?"

"Yes."

"Well, this isn't an emergency, is it?" His face contorted as he stared at me. "My wife is very sick. You have your health."

"I'm sorry," I said taking a step back. Interesting customer technique.

The sink of course, hasn't drained. I knew it wouldn't. I am washing dishes in the bathroom. I suppose there are worse things than being charged for something that isn't fixed and being told it is nothing compared to someone else's problems.

I won't be calling him again. Ever. When I call another plumber he can discount the theory that the drain is frozen when I call next week. In the meantime, as I sit out the snow storm, I have my health.